Perfectionism

Many of us have misconceptions about what it means to be a perfectionist. The common belief is that these people have high self confidence, are highly organized and extremely motivated. However, that it is not true. In reality, perfectionists exhibit a continuum of behaviors. On one end of the continuum are the ones who take pleasure from doing difficult tasks and do no matter what it takes for great achievements. On the other end of the continuum are those who are not satisfied from their efforts due to their unrealistic goals. Consequently, perfectionists can lead very stressful and nerve wrecking lives.

The results of a Canadian research, done by York University psychology professor Gordon Flett and a team of Canadian researchers shows that certain forms of perfectionism can be linked to a host of emotional, physical and relationship problems, including depression, eating disorders, insomnia and even suicide. This is due to the notion that perfectionists have to work harder to have full lives. Their identity is built around their achievements so they may not be able to handle setbacks easily.

People at any age can exert signs of perfectionism. For instance, a 1994 experiment with 30 preschoolers at a computer camp in Toronto showed that even 4- and 5-year-olds possess marked traits for perfectionism. Interviewers asked the children five questions tapping perfectionism levels ("How would you like to be perfect?"). They then gave the kids a computer task that was rigged to not work. The highly perfectionist children showed greater signs of extreme distress, such as elevated anger and anxiety, explains Flett.

As a teacher, it is important to detect perfectionists in your classrooms. Some are easier to spot out than others since they brag about their achievements and try to impress their classmates. Other students also get very irritated by them. On the other hand some perfectionists just keep their problems to themselves while others try to hide their imperfections.

Some characteristics of extreme perfectionists:

1. Can’t stop thinking about a mistake they made.

2. Are intensely competitive and can’t stand doing worse than others.

3. Either want to do something “just right” or not at all.

4. Demand perfection from other people.

5. Won’t ask for help if asking can be perceived as a flaw or weakness.

6. Will persist at a task long after other people have quit.

7. Are fault-finders who must correct other people when they are wrong.

8. Are highly aware of other people’s demands and expectations.

9. Are very self-conscious about making mistakes in front of other people.

 10. Avoid stressful situations or difficult tasks.

11. Have strong feelings of inadequacy and low self-confidence.

12. Are highly sensitive to criticism.

13. Have difficulty making decisions and prioritizing tasks.

14. Experience headaches or other physical ailments when they perform below    the expectations of themselves or others.

Teachers can help children who exhibit extreme perfectionism in the following ways:

1. Provide a calm structured environment.
2. Avoid comparing students.
3. Reduce the academic pressure by altering the grading system if possible.
4. Create opportunities for success that will enhance the student’s self confidence.
5. Help these students understand that it is impossible to complete every task without making any mistakes.
6. Provide support if they perform at a lower level than expected.
7. Assign biographies of successful people who overcame failure, persevered and achieved greatness; for example Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein.
8. Involve them in setting realistic standards for themselves.
9. Have them examine the advantages and disadvantages of perfectionism in their lives.
10. Ask them to keep a journal expressing their thoughts and feelings.